LIVING WATERS
For the proclamation of the Gospel and the edification of the Body of Christ
How Believers Should Raise Their Children
The key biblical teaching on parenting is given in Ephesians 6:4: "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord".
We have already seen, in a positive sense, what it means to discipline and what its importance is, as well as what admonition or teaching means. Now we will see something regarding the prohibition given to parents not to provoke their children to anger. This commandment of Ephesians 6:4 is reinforced in Colossians 3:21: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, lest they be discouraged". The expressions "provoke to anger" and "exasperate" are also translated as "irritate".
Discipline, in the light of the Word, is an act that takes on solemnity, because in it the parent is obeying the Lord. When parents discipline, they are using delegated authority, for they are merely administrators of God's authority. Therefore, discipline must be done -although it may seem paradoxical- with respect. Respect for the child, because although he must be corrected, his dignity as a child of parents who are also children of God must be safeguarded.
Mockery, irony and sarcasm, so recurrent in these cases, must be completely set aside. It is necessary that parents exercise authority in humility and fear. Discipline allows children to take a lesson in obedience. How different this noble exercise is from that crude diabolical imitation of beatings unleashed by uncontrolled parents! No wonder authorities around the world are taking measures to safeguard the dignity of children and prevent domestic violence.
However, for believing parents, who are truly an example of love and devotion to the Lord, who walk before him and are exercised in godliness, it will not be difficult to discipline their children in the fear of God. If they do not discipline their children as the word of God teaches, they are failing in a clear responsibility. But if they do so by exceeding the limits established therein, they are also sinning against God.
The way of believing parents is that of submissive obedience to the Word, exercising a firm but loving discipline; without fear, but also without excesses. Believing children, who have a sensitive heart, will recognize the motives of the discipline thus exercised, will see God in it, and will be grateful in time for the fruits of that discipline.
"Bring them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord" is the inescapable imperative for believing parents; while "provoke not your children to wrath" is the holy limit which the Spirit of God places upon that imperative.