LIVING WATERS
For the proclamation of the Gospel and the edification of the Body of Christ
Bitter Weeping
Peter's denial passes through three stages, and in each of them the disciple's tragedy is greater. In the first, Peter denies the Lord in front of everyone (Matt. 26:70); in the second, he denies "again with an oath" (v. 72); in the third, he "began to curse and to swear" (v. 74). This is all part of the same scene, but it has three steps in its fall. Finally, when light is made in the disciple's heart, when he remembers the Lord's words, "going out, he wept bitterly" (v. 75).
This "bitter weeping" is probably Peter's most dramatic experience - although he lived through many others that could also receive that label. He had to taste bitter weeping in order to know the true dimension of his lowliness, and to be cleansed, by those tears, of all forms of self-righteousness.
Peter was not the only one who promised the Lord faithfulness to the end; the other disciples also did the same (Mt. 26:35). However, it is not said of them that they went so far as to weep bitterly. Apparently, they did not fall so low, although sometimes it is necessary to fall like that, in order to be able to get up and be the preacher in a new Pentecost.
We make no praise of falls, but sometimes it is necessary to go so far, because of the baseness of the vessel, to empty oneself of all pride and presumption, in order that the grace of God may shine forth without the vain help of human righteousness.
Have you ever tasted bitter weeping, or are you one of those who have never fallen, who can exhibit a blameless record? Perhaps you have never wept bitter tears. I do not know whether to say that, therefore, you are blessed, because being prudent and humble, God never needed to release you to that extreme; or whether you are wretched, because you can never know the true depth of your misery.
Wonderful grace of God, source of resources for the useless and weak man, incapable of pleasing God! If we did not see Peter at Pentecost -and then in the rest of the book of Acts- soar to the greatest spiritual heights, those bitter tears would be useless. But behold, we see him in the heights of joy, in the power of the Spirit, in the fullness, in the dance of the full ears of corn!
How often will bitter weeping have to come to the souls of God's servants! How often will the dark night, without hope, come, without a foothold on which the foot may take hold! At that time they will feel themselves falling deeper and deeper, even to Sheol itself. But, blessed be the grace of God, for another day will come, another light, and the Master's face will smile again.